Orientation
Before this new year starts, I'm hoping I will have made myself ready and expectant of everything to come.
There's been a lot of room for error, discovery, diluted time and diluted efforts before, but I think it's really important I have as many things straight as possible this time around.
I can't afford to doubt, only question. I can't afford to go back or even look back, only improve and stay committed to the main goal. This is kind of like Junior year in high school, or maybe the first semester of senior year, when everything- or at least so many things- could go really wrong or really right.
THEREFORE, I am really happy that I have gotten to trust God a lot lately, trusting in his sovereignty, in my true desire to live and find happiness in Him as opposed to other, much more frustrating things (haha). I hope as the semester progresses, the homework, in all sense of the word, perpetrates every moment of every day, I am able to keep my head on straight and remember: THIS isn't my life, this isn't the deciding factor of what I am worth or even capable of. No, THIS is a blessing, it is a gift from God, an opportunity to learn and later to give back; to be challenged and later to share wisdom; to GROW and SEE God at work. So constantly, vibrantly at work.
In the struggling classmate, the incomprehensible lecture, the tortuous problem set. I hope I continue to be able to see His Glory, see HIM glorified.
And even when I'm not, to be honest with myself about where I stand, or I should say, where HE stands in the life I'm trying to live.
I'm at a point where I can apprehend the life experience I have already had, all that has already gone into shaping the person I am, the goals I follow, the achievements I've made. Yet, I am beginning to see, not only that there's so much more to come, but just how much there is still (God-willing) to come. I guess I also struggle with an insecurity that makes me want to discredit those mere 18, soon to be 19 years of places people, things and events, to discredit everything I am now in light of everything else that soon will be. But if I did, where would I begin? HOW could I begin? I can't.
It's not that I lack bravery; rather, I chose not to be a coward that runs from the large, overbearing shadow of the coming unknown, thinking that who I am now can't possibly take it on.
So what if me, myself and I can't take it on? I have a Father who knows all unknowns. With Him, I have no need to be uncertain since he takes no risk- he "knows all outcomes... and plans accordingly"(Piper, John).
Remembering this is probably a surefire way to find my way around all the nooks, cranes and heightened heartbeats of this second year.
I have been thinking about this song SAIL by AWOLNATION while writing this post.
aannnd decided to use this video because Dancing.
There's been a lot of room for error, discovery, diluted time and diluted efforts before, but I think it's really important I have as many things straight as possible this time around.
I can't afford to doubt, only question. I can't afford to go back or even look back, only improve and stay committed to the main goal. This is kind of like Junior year in high school, or maybe the first semester of senior year, when everything- or at least so many things- could go really wrong or really right.
THEREFORE, I am really happy that I have gotten to trust God a lot lately, trusting in his sovereignty, in my true desire to live and find happiness in Him as opposed to other, much more frustrating things (haha). I hope as the semester progresses, the homework, in all sense of the word, perpetrates every moment of every day, I am able to keep my head on straight and remember: THIS isn't my life, this isn't the deciding factor of what I am worth or even capable of. No, THIS is a blessing, it is a gift from God, an opportunity to learn and later to give back; to be challenged and later to share wisdom; to GROW and SEE God at work. So constantly, vibrantly at work.
In the struggling classmate, the incomprehensible lecture, the tortuous problem set. I hope I continue to be able to see His Glory, see HIM glorified.
And even when I'm not, to be honest with myself about where I stand, or I should say, where HE stands in the life I'm trying to live.
I'm at a point where I can apprehend the life experience I have already had, all that has already gone into shaping the person I am, the goals I follow, the achievements I've made. Yet, I am beginning to see, not only that there's so much more to come, but just how much there is still (God-willing) to come. I guess I also struggle with an insecurity that makes me want to discredit those mere 18, soon to be 19 years of places people, things and events, to discredit everything I am now in light of everything else that soon will be. But if I did, where would I begin? HOW could I begin? I can't.
It's not that I lack bravery; rather, I chose not to be a coward that runs from the large, overbearing shadow of the coming unknown, thinking that who I am now can't possibly take it on.
So what if me, myself and I can't take it on? I have a Father who knows all unknowns. With Him, I have no need to be uncertain since he takes no risk- he "knows all outcomes... and plans accordingly"(Piper, John).
Remembering this is probably a surefire way to find my way around all the nooks, cranes and heightened heartbeats of this second year.
I have been thinking about this song SAIL by AWOLNATION while writing this post.
aannnd decided to use this video because Dancing.
Have a great and blessed and beautiful dayyyyyyy :)
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