Let Us Begin

Honestly,
I sometimes think that I'm (I want to be amazingly comfortable in my clothes. This may be me) looking for a feeling that never existed.
tangent---My imagination and ambition creating memories that never were.
               Invented scenarios that faded with time into the oblivion of thoughts, longings, disappointments.
Where is the motivation?
I like life. I don't want to let it live me.