Let Us Find

Faith has always been my saving grace The reason for everything that didn't and couldn't make sense My ultimate motivation that transcended what others would have told me wasn't worth it. Faith brought my family from Douala, Cameroon to Portsmouth, Virginia An assurance that the loving God who provided for you in intelligence, in success, in luck Would provide for you even in this new, challenging place, with much fruit to be harvested. I always would run towards that fruit. The fruit my parents put in front of me from the moment I could add. Seeking success, accomplishment, but most importantly, being able to seek while still being a "good" person. After the lectures, I defined it for myself: Just because I have to succeed doesn't mean I have to trample others on the way It doesn't even mean that I will not need to ask for help. I had the faith that I was capable, and because of this capability, and because of this faith, I did. I pursued...

You are so much more beautiful than I ever gave you credit for You are more loving than I could ever imagine Seriously, It overwhelms my soul filling me with gratitude how could I ever hesitate about the importance of showing you to your people spreading you gospel is spreading love, the most uncanny, incomprehensible kind. I see you work in my life I stand amazed, awestruck, humbled How could I not see this before You are a God of gods, a lord of lords, A lord of love. Help me see, help me remember, realize, that you are the GREAT I AM. You don't need my affirmation to be the great being that you are, nor do you need my good works to work good in my own life Your light shines, PIERCES through darkness, through aches and pains, your goodness, BEAUTY shines through. I don't know the words to explain, I want to exclaim, but I am found speechless, unable to do WHO THAT YOU ARE justice. God, Almighty. Alpha AND Omega Yahweh holy? HOLY. is this what it means to be Holy. and yet yo...

Before this new year starts, I'm hoping I will have made myself ready and expectant of everything to come. There's been a lot of room for error, discovery, diluted time and diluted efforts before, but I think it's really important I have as many things straight as possible this time around. I can't afford to doubt, only question. I can't afford to go back or even look back, only improve and stay committed to the main goal. This is kind of like Junior year in high school, or maybe the first semester of senior year, when everything- or at least so many things- could go really wrong or really right. THEREFORE, I am really happy that I have gotten to trust God a lot lately, trusting in his sovereignty, in my true desire to live and find happiness in Him as opposed to other, much more frustrating things (haha). I hope as the semester progresses, the homework, in all sense of the word, perpetrates every moment of every day, I am able to keep my head on straight and rem...

The worst part about believing what I believe is that I can't pretend not to.  Religion is one thing, but faith... that's completely different. It's definitely gutsier. A lot of people get like respect for standing for their religion and being civil about it. But I mean, there's nothing to that. Anyone could decide to call themselves Christian, love/tolerate everyone they meet, go to church frequently and give alms to the poor. But the faith that's at the core of it all; the truth and the commitment. That's the scary part. I think that all members in the religion are looking for this thing, a lot without even knowing it. Some know it from day one (of being saved) and can spend their whole lives rejoicing over a discovery that others couldn't begin to comprehend. But for the rest of us, this truth, and the NECESSITY of committing to it is something that, after long hard lives of struggling and thinking we were doing good enough and sacrificing....it...